prgs13

I don't know how to express in words how much you mean to me. How my heart pines for you, how my body aches for your touch. I hold you in my arms and pray to all the gods that possibly exist that the electricity pulsing through my fingers says it all. That the flick of my smile would explain all the things I can't say. The words that escape my mouth drip with sincerity, but lack all the feelings that I wish for you to acknowledge. ((Everytime I think of you my heart fills with song, the lyrics of which I hope for you to one day to hear.)) You're like the words on the inside of my favorite CD. You're the smell in the air after a fresh spring

I can look in this mirror and see someone so different than what you behold. The gifted child that eagerly grasped for any kind of knowledge, of art, literature, anything with passion has been whisked away by the lull of the whispers in the background of a lonely lover's screams. There is a void deep in her soul that no one notices is missing. The eyes that once glowed for the words of a page to paint a livid portrait of a landscape so far away, yet so very close to her heart. The child that grasped onto the pen and dug it into the paper as she wrote as if, if she didn't write fast enough, the words already written would disappear. ((Like al

I love when you look at me With those big brown eyes I love when you smile at me Cause it makes me feel i can fly I love when you say hello Cause it makes me feel i'm yours I love it when you comfort me And tell me i'm not a whore I love seeing your name online Cause i can almost hear your voice I love it when i talk to you Cause it drowns out all the other noise I love it when you say my name Cause it means i'm on your mind But part of me hates when you hold me Cause i can't still call you mine

i got a pen and some paper to sit down and write my suicide letter as my tears smeared the ink i didn't stop to think i grabbed some pills and some beer thought i'd finally get out of here i've been depressed for so long no one would care if i was gone i prayed to god to see me through to stop what i was about to do for strength within to help me win this inner battle that i just can't handle i thought about my sister, my brother my father and my mother my family and friends how i'd never see them again i didn't want the ones i loved to feel pain as i silently watched from above so i took some time to clear my head and sa

          She sat and watched the flame from the candle cast flittering shadows dancing on the wall. The smoke curled up into the brisk December air and faded away like the warm spring days of old that she remembered so fondly. Her tears fell like chrystalized tears of the dusty wooden floor of her now empty home.          Her lover had left her and took everything that he could get his hands on. He took all the cracked and broken pots and pans from the kitchen, the antique brass bed they shared what seemed like centuries ago. Every crumb and morsel was gone and all the pictures off the wall left bright squares and circles on the weathered

                You never could see through the false laughs and fake smiles. All the empty words I said to you blew straight through your mind. In one ear and out the other.  (You heard me, but you never listened) All the times I needed you, your heart and soul and words of advice; you were nowhere. Like my hopes and dreams: gone with the setting sun.  *But there still might be a chance* But you will never change. You still can't see who I realy am. You perceive who you want me to be; mold me to your needs. My feelings are like the bright red balloon released from the grasp of the child's hand – forever lost and forgotten to you.  

                I hate to think about it, but it's clouding my mind, I can't find you anymore. I'm blinded by the insecurities that your words involuntary inflamed.  ((Every promise broken, every word not spoken)) I'm always behind you; hidden from view. Do you even remember I'm there? I yell and scream to try to get noticed, but my pleas are falling on deaf ears.   :Save me from this, set me free: I don't want to share you anymore. Each statement you make contradicts another. I can no longer think straight.   ~Your words fog my mind~ So many times I've held your hand and pulled you out of the grave. But now you simply fall back o

                I was gonna get away. I was gonna prove to myself. I was goin to rest in your arms and walk away. I didn't need you anymore. I could breathe on my own. I didn't want to have to run back to you. You were my drug no longer        ((But something went wrong, time stood still))               I tried to just turn away. But something held me back. Like captor's arms. I fought and fought, but I couldn't walk away. I had felt your warmth again, and it melted me to you. I had fallen back into you, deeper then ever before.  ~But I didn't want it anymore~ The happiness I felt scared me. Like it always had before. But still you ho

Hit me harder, cut me deeper Make me feel like i never have before Yell at me louder, push me down faster Tell me how i'm a dirty whore Your words make me cry, want to fight Your actions make me want to die But still i lay awake and wonder why As i tremble in the cold of the night You keep me down To keep me around So can't see, no never How maybe i could get someone better You say you love me And then you'll come to hug me As i shake on my knees Wishing that i could be free I want to run, run away from you But that's something i can't do I'm afraid to be alone, without you I can't bring myself to start over new So i'll sl

"i'll only take one hit, or maybe just one line" said i'd only smoke one bowl; that i'd only tell one lie "just one more drink" i'd only steal one car. I'd only break one law. Never thought it'd get this far just one cigeratte i'd only make one cut only one tab i'd only shoot up once i'd only hurt one person just get into one last fight but now i think about it as i lay awake at night my entire life is wasted on "only one"s and "just one more"s and i can never turn back as my life slowly closes its door